Facilitator Notes
Decisions! Decisions! Decisions! It feels as if we have to make many of them every day- starting from what time we wake up to what we will wear to what we will eat to who we will see that day, etc. Yet, as a young adult, why does it feel that every decision we make is becoming increasingly more challenging and more serious? It feels that our decisions are become a lot BIGGER! Are we ready for this? Why does it feel that there is much more at stake if we “choose wrongly”? How do we even go about making the “right” choices (wait, is there even a right choice?)? Where do we even start?!
These questions may sound familiar and it is possible that at this point in life, members of your community are in the midst of trying to discern decisions that are true to their own vocations as they try to recognize the way that God is inviting them to follow more closely. Maybe these decisions are about what to major in, whether or not to go to graduate school, entering into a post-graduate service program, trying to sustain a relationship in the next phase of life, and so many more.
Sometimes, the more we think about a decision or situation in our lives, the more complicated it seems to be come. As we try to sift through all the different possibilities and challenges to recognize where God is calling us, it can feel as though we become even more confused or uncertain. For this reason, it is often best to seek to discern our decisions in community, among others who care about us and want to support us in our vocational journey. Today’s activity invites another person to assist us in our decision making by helping us notice a deeper response to the opportunities in front of us. This helps us get beyond our head and tap into our heart. Imagine a mirror. If you stand with your nose pressed up against the glass, it’s nearly impossible to really see your face. Once you step back and create a little distance, you can see yourself much better. Our community can help us see ourselves when we are too close to see with clarity. As we consider the decision before us, it is important that we consider how this decision helps us to live more fully our personal vocations.
Michael Himes, a theology professor at Boston College, offers
three points for guidance in making decisions about where our lives are going. (You may want to read this brief transcript or even share it with you group members.)
- Is this a source of joy? (Do you get a kick out of it?)
- Is this something that taps into your talents and gifts—engages all of your abilities—and uses them in the fullest way possible? (Are you any good at it?)
- Is this role a genuine service to the people around you, to society at large? (Does anyone want you to do it?)
Of course, not everyone in your group may feel like they have an important decision before them right now. However, it is important to note that even after we make important “decisions” about a particular steps forward, there is a continuing need to reevaluate, assess, and offer thanks for that path. No vocational journey ends with one or two good decisions. Vocation is always unfolding in our lives in new ways, and many of us will have various different ways of expressing our vocation over the course of our lifetimes. For those in your group who aren’t in the throes of discerning a significant decision, invite them to spend this time reflecting on something they are currently doing that they believe they have been called to. Also, encourage those members to be fully engaged in supporting the processing of the others in the group. There may another point in the life of the community where the tables are turned and they will need to be accompanied in their decision.
Supplies: A clock or stopwatch to time 60 seconds.
Opening Prayer
Ask for the grace of perception.
Check-In
What is the first thing you thought of when you looked at yourself in the mirror this morning?
Focus Exercise
Invite the group to try to recognize one decision they are trying to make right now that relates to their greater vocation (the expression of their truest self). Where are the feelings that are attached to the different possibilities lying before you? What are the feelings attached to making a decision? Do you feel unsure, confident, excited, scared, or something else completely? Do you feel ready to make the decision? Is there still more information you need? Do you have a sense of how this decision fits into God’s greater call for you? What about the needs of the world – how does that fit into this decision?
Give everyone about 2 minutes to think about how they see the idea of vocation unfolding in their lives and identify a decision they are weighing in responding most authentically to their call at this time.
Break into pairs. One person speaks for 10 minutes (timed by the facilitator) about where they are on their vocational journey, especially looking toward where they think they are being called next. Utilize the 3 points proposed by Michael Himes to inform sharing coupled with the previously outlined questions (all of these do not need to be answered by the sharer):
- Is this a source of joy? (Do you get a kick out of it?)
- Is this something that taps into your talents and gifts—engages all of your abilities—and uses them in the fullest way possible? (Are you any good at it?)
- Is this role a genuine service to the people around you, to society at large? (Does anyone want you to do it?)
- Where are the feelings that are attached to the different possibilities lying before you? What are the feelings attached to making a decision?
- Do you feel unsure, confident, excited, scared, or something else completely?
- Do you feel ready to make the decision? Is there still more information you need?
- What motivates you to make a decision? “Everyone else is doing something big next year, pressure from parents, fear of not knowing the next step, excitement for a new phase, a continuation of important elements of your life, etc.?”
- Do you have a sense of how this decision fits into God’s greater call for you?
- What about the needs of the world – how does that fit into this decision?
The “listener” does not speak during this time, but can jot down notes about what he or she notices. When the minute is up, the listener comments to the speaker about what her or she noticed about the speaker while he or she was speaking. Did the person fidget when talking about one possibility? Did the person look more energetic or smile when talking about another option? Did the person’s voice drop, eyes sparkle, brow furrow, or anything else? Reflect back to the person what you saw while they spoke. Note, this is not an opportunity to evaluate the content of what the person shared – no giving opinions about the decision.
After the sharing, have each pair switch roles and let the listener become the speaker.
Listening
Share a little about the experience you had noticing something about a person’s physical affect while he or she spoke. How did it feel to hear what your partner said? Was it surprising or did it reveal anything to you? Does it offer you any insight into where you might be called? How did it feel to notice these things in another person? What does it feel like to witness another person seeking to understand her or his vocation?
Listening Deeper
- What emerged in your partner sharing?
- What has struck you as you have been listening to others share? Do you notice any patterns or similarities?
- How have you been feeling throughout the meeting? Comfortable? Anxious? Curious?
- Is there anything you would like to share after listening to another person share?
- What is remaining with you? What do you hope to return to in prayer at another point in the week?
Moving Forward
Keep the three points that Michael Himes offers at the front of your awareness. Hold your decision up to God in prayer and ask God to use those three clues to help you notice new possibilities in your decision. Pay attention to yourself – as if looking in a mirror for emotions – as you consider your decision and try to identify your feelings and the movements of your heart in the midst of your consideration.
Closing Prayer
God has created me to do some definite service: God has committed some work to me, which has not been committed to another. I have my mission—I may never know it in this life, but I shall be told it in the next. I am a link in a chain, a bond of connection between persons. God has not created me for naught. I shall do God’s work. I shall do good. I shall be an angel of peace, a preacher of truth in my own place while not intending it—if I do but keep God’s commandments.
Therefore, I will trust God. Whatever, wherever I am, I can never be thrown away. If I am in sickness, my sickness may serve God; if I am in sorrow, my sorrow may serve God. The Beloved does nothing in vain. God knows what it’s all about. I may lose all my friends. I may be thrown among strangers. I may feel desolate; my spirits may sink; my future may be hidden from me—still God knows what it’s all about. Therefore, I will trust and praise my God all the days of my life.
(adapted from John Cardinal Newman)
Ignatian Roots
“Those who are of great heart and set on fire with zeal to follow Jesus… will not only offer themselves entirely to labor for such a mission, but will act against anything which would make their response less total.” (Spiritual Exercises [97])
“When we are trying to follow the loving invitation of God in our life, we will find that the good spirit tends to give support, encouragement, and oftentimes even a certain delight in all our endeavors.” (Spiritual Exercises [329])
“The Spirit-inspired love respects the uniqueness of each personal vocation and enables us to be open and free, always at the disposal of God.” (CLC-USA General Principles #2)
Additional Scripture
“I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 3:14
“Indeed, the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing until it divides soul from spirit, joints from marrow; it is able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart.” Hebrews 4:12
“You have put gladness in my heart, more than when their grain and wine abound.” Psalm 4:7
“But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s own people, in order that you may proclaim the mighty acts of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light. Once you were not a people, but now you are God’s people; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy.” 1 Peter 2: 9-10
